You must have run the scenario through your head a million times of what you’ll do if you’re released. What are some of the things you envision?
I think of my freedom All the Time. I daydream about what I want to do daily. When I was younger, my daydreams reflected my youth – I wanted to ride the rails and see the country or go into careers which take years to be established, in like physics or teaching at a university.
Nowadays I know that I’m too old to waste years trying to become established in fields which take years to prepare for and even longer to have a decent career. Mostly, I daydream of working oil rigs or crab fishing, hard work which pays good without needing years of preparation and seniority.
More than anything I want a job which will allow me to quickly settle down with wife and kids and lead a quiet, peaceful life. Often I dream of things I’ll do for my Dad and Step-Mom to demonstrate my love and my appreciation for their support all these years. My Dad’s back and neck are in bad shape so every super-bed and Good Feet commercial I see leads to how I could surprise him with a gift if I was out.
I come from a long line of farmers on my Mom’s side of the family so the soil is in my veins. I daydream about gardening, of all things – planting strawberries and raspberries for my Step-Mom, sweet corn, rows of vegetables…
I actually have a long held fantasy based on agriculture. I know that it grows more unlikely the longer it takes me to get out, but I really want to make organic gourmet cheese. I was watching “Martha Stewart” years ago and she had a segment on different goat and sheep cheeses. It all took off from there.
I have in my head exactly what my ranch in the mountains would look like, the meadow, the barn, the house – I’ve gone over in my head for hours on end how I would build up and enrich the soil for a few seasons so the grass would be just right with the perfect soil PH. I’ve fantasized about the cheese making process and how the market the cheese to fancy restaurants and organic markets. Everything about the process interests me. I love country living, I love agrarian life, and it is the perfect environment for raising a family. I can’t think of a better place to live than on a farm/ranch or a quieter and more peaceful life. After the chaos of prison, that really appeals to me.